What is “Living Well”?
What is living well?
This is a question I saw on Gordo Byrn’s blog and I quite liked it. It’s like a version of success, but tailored to a day to day approach.
Success can be static: a snapshot of your balance sheet, job title, personal records, etc.
Living well is an action. It requires one to be present in the daily: it’s less about what you have and more about the things you do.
It also has an emotional quality; how you feel about the things you do.
We will all have our own definition of this, and it’s important to factor in our families definitions as well. They don’t have to be perfectly aligned, but an understanding of the other person’s internal compass can provide a more enjoyable route for the family’s future.
While there might be some shallow or thin desires at the surface, there are a few underlying themes that come up when you dig a little deeper.
Physical freedom
Financial freedom
Emotional freedom
Having one of these without the other can feel debilitating. Most of us focus on the financial side and as we increase it, the physical side decreases. Many of us also ignore the emotional side altogether.
Looking closer…
Physical freedom: the ability to move without excess restriction.
This isn’t to say we will overcome our physical limitations and be able to fly around. Rather, it’s about paying attention to our capacity to move in the ways we want. In the short term, this might be focused on training for an upcoming race. In the long term this includes things like playing with my child, future children and grandchildren. It includes the ability to get out of a car without groaning or needing help, and being able to balance as I age (which becomes a big physical and financial risk beyond our mid-60s). Your definition will be unique to you.
Financial Freedom: The ability to cover your basic needs in a way that allows you to take exciting opportunities as they arise and participate in enjoyable activities on a regular basis.
This will be different for everyone, but it’s key to understand what those basic needs are and the financial cost of the activities and opportunities you’d like to take in the future. For example: traveling around the world sounds great, but also can take a great deal of money. Daily activities of going for a walk in nature cost next to nothing, yet also add tremendous value. Your financial freedom will be about maximizing the cost-benefit analysis of these things.
Emotional freedom: This could have many definitions, but I like to think of it as the ability to be present and in the moment.
Being present might sound cliche, but we often carry around the weight of things in the past or future, sometimes to the point of depression/anxiety. Certainly, we might never fully let go of this “baggage” for lack of a better term. But perhaps we can learn to pack it more efficiently, or learn to set it down for short periods of time. This might feel deep, but it can also apply to how we allocate time, especially during more “mindless” activities like social media and watching TV. The goal is that when you’re able to spend time with someone, you’re fully present with them.
++
As we think about the deeper stuff, we see how it manifests on the surface. Perhaps financial freedom looks like being able to go on a weekend trip with friends without worrying about every penny. Maybe physical freedom means that trip is a ski trip in the mountains of Utah or Colorado. And even emotional freedom could be as simple as being able to enjoy the views on the ski lift. The point is, all of these are intertwined, and they appear in our daily actions.
Ironically, once we understand what types of freedoms we want to have in life, we realize that these freedoms are increased through daily discipline. For example: drinking less alcohol can have a drastic improvement on both your physical and financial health. Creating a meal plan rather than eating from restaurants all the time can have a similar effect. It’s not that these things are necessarily bad, but things that are either easy or feel good can become defaults if we aren’t intentional about them.
++
At this point, it also becomes clear that doing all sorts of fun things doesn’t seem like enough to truly be living well because it seems aimless. Creating these freedoms also creates the capacity for purpose. If we are always scrambling to stay afloat, it becomes harder to have that purpose. But we don’t all need to be zillionaires with an incredible life mission to make a difference. We can simply look at how we impact the people and world around us and decide if we like the change we’re making in the world.
Once we know which direction our ship is headed, it’s easier to design the smaller actions that keep us on course. If we know what type of life we truly want to live, we can be more intentional about including (or perhaps excluding) certain habits, hobbies, food, friends, etc.
Lastly, these daily actions can change over time. As we grow older and have new and different experiences, our relationship with ourselves and the habits that we have can shift. Even something that once was helping us “live well” in the past might no longer be serving us in the present. It’s okay to shift gears and re-evaluate over time. If we look ahead and don’t like where we are going, we can always shift course. It doesn’t have to be dramatic, a 1 degree turn now can turn into a massive difference in time.
Hopefully this provides some food for thought. Personally,
Physical freedom: I feel the best when I’m doing yoga, moderate amount of strength work, and a ton of endurance training. I love the feeling of zipping by at 25+ mph on a bike and being able to run for as long as I want. This also gives me the ability to go do long hikes in the mountains, a ski trip, or simply hop into a game of pickup basketball without hesitation or feeling exhausted. As my son grows, there’s a huge element of being mobile and strong enough to play with him, pick him up, and ultimately show him what a life with a high level of fitness looks like.
Financial freedom: Being able to do the things I love (triathlon, travel) while I’m still able to do them at a high level while saving for my future and my son’s future are key. Certainly, a lot of this comes down to smart choices with everyday items, but also maximizing (as much as we can) intelligent investment vehicles like a Roth IRA, 529b plan, etc. There’s also a big emphasis of building human capital in skillsets and relationships, we never know what opportunity will come next. If there’s a spark of passion somewhere, it’s okay to see where it leads as long as it’s done intentionally.
Emotional freedom: This is probably the hardest one to work on as it’s not nearly as cut and dry as the others. Still, a yoga class or a long run are great places for me to clear the mind and process certain things. Talking to a psychologist or therapist can be a great thing. Even making sure that the things we are consuming from a social standpoint like conversations with friends or various apps we use (there’s a reason it’s called a social media feed) are positive overall. This isn’t to say we should ignore all of the bad, but simply become aware of what we’re putting in our minds. Some of this isn’t in our control, but a lot of it is!
Hope this gave you some food for thought.
Happy training!